Helpful Hints for Troubled Times

Eight practical uses for all those remaindered/now-never-to-be-read books with titles like "Islamofascism: The Unsurpassable Challenge of Our Time":

1. Kindling for oil-drum fire in your "hobo jungle".
2. Bricks to seal windows in foreclosed houses.
3. Projectiles to throw at bankers on steps of courthouse.
4. Process them into chopsticks, then export to China, thus redressing trade deficit.
5. Use as armor for future military draftees.
6. Shred, then stuff into Salvation-Army windbreaker as insulation.
7. Store in time capsule as evidence of gullibility of "literate" public of '00s for incredulous future generations.
8. Toilet paper.